Observations of the Day
First, if you’re in line at the deli during lunch and you (like most people) have a 30-minute lunch, you should not spend 45 minutes deciding which sandwich you want to eat. Who cares how thin you want your slices of black forest ham to be? You’re anorexic! You’re going to throw it up anyway. On the other hand, the weight of the your sandwich should not equal your body weight. Quit being so picky and quit being so greedy. Just get a damn sandwich. Turn around and look. There is an angry, hungry mob of blue-collar and white-collar workers that will be happy to eat you if you don’t hurry up.
On a street corner near downtown, a husband and wife were manning their fruit stand. Anything wrong with this picture? Nope. Not until you hear their baby crying. Where is she? She’s over there. In that milk crate. Yes, they put the kid in a milk crate. An extra fat kid in a fat free milk crate. Sad and funny.
For the second time in four months, I’ve seen the man that rides a bike covered in gold tin foil. Spokes, handle bars, seat, everything.
To the fellas: don’t dress like your boys. Groups of guys dressing alike has got to stop. You look rather girlish doing that, but even a woman hates to see another woman wearing an identical outfit. Why do you do it, guys? I don’t know. Unless you’re going on the Ed Sullivan Show, American Bandstand, or Soul Train; you are part of a sports team; you’re with your platoon in battle; or you’re in a barbershop quartet, you should not be dressed exactly like your male counterparts. If you’re going somewhere with your boy and he has on the same white T-shirt and jeans that you’re wearing, roll around in the dirt. Now you have a brown shirt. See, that’s better. By saving yourself, you’re saving him, too. You’re a good friend to have.
Is your mullet, shag, or Jheri curl’s backpack long or big enough to rest on your shoulders and support your neck while you’re driving? If you answered yes, cut that $%!+ off. If I see one more person who looks like a squirrel is hugging the back of your head, I’m gonna lure it away from you with some acorns, kill it, and then have it stuffed. Squirrels belong in trees, on the ground, or on the dining room wall of a serial killer, not on your head.
Think Ink|Thinq Inq 