Ten Mass Transit Commandments
(to the tune of The Notorious B.I.G.’s “Ten Crack Commandments”)
(hear the original here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYb_8MM1tGQ)
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[Chuck D] “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9”
Uhh, it’s the 10 mass transit commandments
What, uhh, uhh
Riders can’t tell me nothin’ ‘bout this Metro, uh huh
Can’t tell me nothin’ ‘bout this Marta, this Bart
To my hustlin’ riders
Riders at the bus stop, I ain’t forget you riders
My triple B riders, word up
[Chuck D] “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9”
“10”
I’ve ridden this train for years with plenty of animals
There’s rules to this route, I wrote you a manual
A step-by-step booklet for you to get
Your train on track and boss off your back
Rule numero uno: Never let no one know
How many tokens you hold, ‘cause you know,
You’ll see jealousy steadily especially
If that man’s got no fare, give you a stare that scares
Number deuce: You never know whose screw’s loose
Don’t you know the silent can be defiant and violent?
At first, they’ll show some shyness (uh huh)
Act fine in the line, then go nuts on the bus
Number three: Avoid saps with tons of crap.
Don’t let them set your ass up, blocking the pass up
Don’t be the last up, move with urgency
It’ll be impossible to get by ‘em in an emergency
Number four: you’ve haven’t heard this before
Whatever you drop on the floor is yours no more.
Number five: For max power, take longer showers.
The sour stank of the smelly can stay on you for hours.
Number six: Dead that credit. Yeah, I said it.
Think a bus driver’ll let you ride for free? Sheeeit, forget it.
Seven: This rule can’t be overstated.
Never lock eyes with crazies before it’s too late, kid.
I’ve seen ‘em hurdle seats, spit out drinks, scream at empty space
All so they can get up in your face
Number eight: Never sit by kids eating food
Before that ride’s through, that meal will be on you
Number nine shoulda been number one in my head
If you didn’t know already, chivalry is dead (uh huh)
Got up once so a blind lady wouldn’t be on her feet
Turned around, she had her seeing-eye dog in the seat
Number ten: this one is important to bus behavior
Once those eyes close, no one can save ya
Use caffeine, ginseng, get your pupils dilated
If you wake up amongst smiles, you’ve been violated
Follow these rules from the time that you wake up
If not, you’ll sit next to some guy eating makeup
Lug your sheeeit down Temple, watch your knees ache up
You flag down your buddy Jacob, he zooms past
Your soul mate and you may break up
Heard last week they hated that you took a pay cut
Threw you out, now bus fare you got to scrape up
Gotta go, this guy’s dandruff’s ‘bout to flake up, good luck
Train track king, Ink Slinga
Uhh
[Chuck D] “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9”
“10”
Think Ink|Thinq Inq 