The Great Depression
A man recently, during a 9-hour bus layover, committed 10 or 11 felonies in Nashville. Talk about maximizing your free time! If he does this much on the outside, imagine what he could potentially do in prison when he’s got nothing but free time.
When Angelenos see a bus, they must drop whatever they’re doing — no matter what it is: gardening, driving, skipping, saying “awesome” — and get in front of the bus. That’s it. They do not like to see buses in free-flowing traffic. At all. Once, I saw a plane swoop down, jump in front of my bus for about 20 minutes, and then ascend back up to the sky.
I ran away from home once. After a few hours, I stopped and headed back when I realized the house wasn’t chasing me.
WHAT I THOUGHT I TYPED: “In a meeting at work.” REALITY: It actually was “In aa meeting at work.”
How many construction workers does it take to make a sheet of construction paper?
I wonder if the police have ever read the Miranda Rights to a Miranda Wright.
Can someone make a citizen’s arrest on an illegal alien in international waters?
There’s a pothole in my neighborhood that’s the width of the entire street. It’s pretty deep, but that doesn’t stop people from speeding over it. When someone drives over it, it sounds like an explosion. From now on, it will be known as The Great Depression because no one should ever go through it.
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Someone told me that this George Wallace tweet sounded like something I’d say:
Why the hell does Southwest stop 9 times between Memphis and Atlanta? You late for work? Wave at a Southwest plane they’ll pick your ass up.
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The Lucky One. Yeah, that movie. Another cryfest of a movie. The movie came out on April 20th, or 4/20 for the cannabis crowd. Say what you want about the movie, but the marketing is brilliant. You’d really have to be high off your ass to pay money to see this movie.
Think Ink|Thinq Inq 
