Between Rancho Cucamonga and Fontana

I was stuck on a commuter train for four hours two weekends ago.  The train had to stop because it hit a pedestrian.  A “trespasser strike” is what the train folks were calling it.  For a long time, we didn’t know why we had stopped.  Here are some of the things that raced through my mind as I waited for the train to move:

Can one’s lack of a libido be called a libidon’t?

Can I ever go over to the dark side when all my sides are already dark?

Can two cities with masculine names be sister cities?

You know those pics that people always take of themselves and post online?  I just found out that they’re called selfies.  So should group pics be called groupies?

It ain’t uncommon to find a highway named after a cop who was killed in the line of duty.  But you’ll never see a highway named after a person who was unjustly killed by a cop.

I get that a band-aid is a bandage that aids the healing of a wound.  I understand that Medicaid helps to cover health care costs.  So would someone please explain what Kool-Aid helps you do?  Be cool?  How about Rite-Aid?  Don’t get me started on Gatorade.

Why does this person look like an Ewok in the face?

Shouldn’t fortune cookies be called fortune bakies?

I should move around some.  Been sitting down for hours.  This seat’s hard as hell.  Right now would be a prime time to enjoy the benefits of possessing a fat ass.

Would Superman shop at a supermarket or Walmart Supercenter?

My eyes are burning like I used Tapatio eyedrops.

How is the word “plaid” pronounced “plad,” even though there’s an “i” in it, yet “plad” isn’t even a word in the English language?

In-laws.  In-law titles have always bothered me.  If your spouse has siblings, then they’re your sister-in-law or brother-in-law.  Doesn’t that technically make your spouse your sibling too?  Does your spouse call your parents mom and dad too?

Taco Bell sounds like it should be the name of a Mexican phone company.