The Bronze State
Cali is nicknamed the Golden State. The state next to it is Nevada, which is the Silver State. The state next to Nevada is Utah, which could be called the Bronze State…only if it wasn’t for it enormous scarcity of brown and black people.
Women should come up with alternative names for their menstrual cycles. The name Flo is overused. Cousin Flo, Aunt Flo, etc. Everyone knows what Flo means, so using Flo to be discreet doesn’t work anymore. If that’s the case, might as well use direct names, like Mama Menses, Mother Monthlies, or Sister Cycle.
It may be impossible to actually turn fat into muscle, but some female weightlifters definitely have the ability to change their breasts to pecs.
In Bruno Mars’ song “Locked Out of Heaven,” he states, “‘Cause your sex takes me to paradise.” Doesn’t that mean he’s dead?
Some Caucasians have a particular yell or scream when they’re having fun. I call it the Call of the Wild. It’s very similar to legendary wrestler Rick Flair’s “Wooooo!” Very distinct. You can’t miss it. When this happens, just know that someone is having a really good time. Alcohol may be involved. Flying alcohol bottles definitely will be involved.
The traffic and navigation app Waze warns you if police are up ahead. There needs to be an app like this made especially for black men. A heads-up would be nice.
“Well, at least were moving.” = the most positive phrase you will hear anyone say regarding LA traffic
Best logo for a meat company goes to Metropolitan Meat, Seafood, and Poultry in Landover, MD. Everyone’s so happy to be slaughtered.
Why does Dr. Oz wear hospital scrubs on his show? Does he think that having “Doctor” in his name isn’t enough? Does he need a stethoscope and a clipboard too? Obviously, he doesn’t think that his audience needs visual aids in addition to medical titles.
Thanksgiving: It’s weird to think we get stuffed on something that’s been stuffed with stuffing.
One of the funniest things to watch in during the holiday season is SoCal kids going nuts at the fake snow falling at the Grove here in LA. I understand that snowfall isn’t common in SoCal, so I don’t fault the kids for being excited. It’s just hard for me to imagine an East Coast equivalent. What would kids back East get excited over during the holidays that’s pretty commonplace in LA but rare near the Atlantic? Smog? LAPD helicopters chasing Santa’s sleigh and reindeer? Santa saying, “Ho, ho, ho, dude”? Wait, these aren’t exciting at all.
I recently said that someone was verbose and grandiloquent. I then realized that using the words “verbose” and “grandiloquent” made me sound verbose and grandiloquent.
When I hear someone say they like being pampered, I always imagine that person getting a pamper put on them like a baby. I need to stop having these mental images.
Think Ink|Thinq Inq 
