Dick Richard
So I downloaded this law firm’s car crash app for to see if it would work. It crashed.
One-ply toilet paper is worthless. It’s like trying to jumping on a trampoline made of cotton candy. You’re gonna bust your ass. And possibly scratch it.
Why the hell do we call it goosebumps? Ever seen a goose with bumps? I think not. Pretty sure that they’ve conquered and evolved past their acne problems.
Saw a painter drinking malt liquor on the bus one morning. Wherever he’s working today ain’t gonna like look he did a very good job.
I once heard someone say, “No, don’t nobody speak no English no more,” thus accomplishing the rare, triple axel, bunny hop, Quintuple Negative.
I’ve watched all The Hunger Games movies on a full stomach.
What is it with techies and food? The names of various food items are littered throughout the tech industry. Cookies, bread crumbs, Apple, cupcake, doughnut, eclair, froyo, gingerbread, honeycomb, ice cream sandwich, jelly bean, lollipop, marshmellow, byte, chip, BlackBerry…I’m getting hungry now.
Dick is a nickname for Richard when we all know good and well that it should be a nickname for Dichard.
Ever hear someone’s sneeze that sounds like a vacuum cleaner starting up?
Things I’ve actually said to myself:
“C’mon, stupid phone. Connect to this damn WiFi.”
“Tears are salty. Too bad they aren’t sweet. We’d all be crying on purpose so that we could taste those sweet, sweet, sugary tears rolling down our cheeks.”
“E.coli sounds like the name of a rapper.”
“Legend…Leg End…shoes?”
“This potato salad is uppercutting my stomach.”
“Whew! That one was stanky. Lay off the asparagus, D.”
Think Ink|Thinq Inq 