Placeholder

Listen…

And I ain’t the richest guy, but I’m so damn wealthy
All these soup kitchens got me feeling so damn healthy
I may be shorter than you, but I’m a head above the rest
‘Specially when I’m stylin’ in this crushed velvet vest

I know that you’re all in love with your man
I know that you’re head over heels, I ain’t a fan
I know that you think he can’t do any wrong
I know that you think that’s where you belong

But he’s a placeholder
I don’t mean to get all up in your business
But he’s only there until you come to your senses
He’s a placeholder
He’s just holding my place, keeping my seat warm
Hold onto your hat and weather this storm

And I ain’t got a good job, but I’m my own boss
And I get my fancy threads from Marshalls and Ross
And I ain’t the best looking, but I’m handsome enough
And I ain’t the smoothest ’cause my edges are rough

I ain’t got a car, but I’m always getting chauffeured
Who needs Jordans to impress when you rock secondhand loafers
I got no house, but the roof over my head is unorthodox
You can’t hate on my Model S-4480B Gaylord Amazon box

Your dude’s a placeholder
I don’t mean to get all up in your business
But he’s only there until you come to your senses
That dude’s a placeholder
He’s just keeping my seat warm, holding my place
Until that cold, hard reality smacks you in the face

I’m uptight and upright, a straight-up savage
I don’t care and won’t spare your lame-ass marriage
I’m nearby and hereby claim you as all mine
Not gonna share and I dare anyone to block my shine

And I ain’t gonna hesitate to wreck your home
And repurpose that wood to build our own
And I ain’t a weirdo, a stalker, or a creep
Life ain’t really fair, so I’m playing for keeps

He’s a placeholder
I really do mean to get all up in your business
Your guy’s only there until you come to your senses
He’s a placeholder
He ain’t right for you and you know that you know it
You need to open your eyes and recognize his opponent

I’ma show you, once and for all, that I’ve corrected some flaws
You told me to clean up my act, so I got some new drawers
Told me that I should be nicer, so I even fixed that
Adopted some cute animals. How cool are you with rats?

You said I should smile and lighten up before I croak.
I heard your man has one testicle; how’s that for a joke?
Said I was too bland when you avoided me like a leper
So then I tried to kiss you after I ate some ghost peppers

Too recessive? Excessive and aggressive tax cuts.
Too juvenile? I stopped singing “Back Dat Ass Up.”
Too aloof? Huh, what? This has been noted, duly.
Too presumptuous? You’re gonna be with yours truly.

Cause he’s a placeholder
It’s time to get all up in your business
He’s only there until you come to your senses
He’s a placeholder
Time for him to go, I’ll help him pack his things
He’s banished from this land, it’s return of the king.

June 29, 2017 | Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment