Beverly & Poinsettia

Is a spy cam still a spy cam if you know it’s there?

“My aunt’s house has an ant problem.” –a friend of mine

Dogs would live longer if they realized that they could save so much energy if they barked at inanimate objects less often.

People suck. Seedless watermelons? That’s an invention of humans. Ridiculous. We made watermelons impotent and sterile because we don’t want to pick the seeds out.

Shouldn’t Labor Day be called No Labor Day?

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the world.

I once heard someone describe me as being so nice that I’d “never hurt a fly.” I stood there, feeling guilty about the millions of flies that I had swatted and killed in the past.

Benadryl: the original roofy.

The antichrist will arrive with a pumpkin spice latte in hand.

There’s an article in Business Insider with the incredible title of “Scientists invent self-lubricating condom with Bill Gates funding.” From Microsoft to micro hard…

One of my favorite movie theaters is very popular among the elderly. Since I’m an ardent patron there and because watching movies with old folks is incredible, here are a few of my nicknames for it:
The Enema Cinema.
The Creator’s Theater.
The Old Fart Mouth Arthouse.
The Geriatric Theatrics and Cinematics.
The Silverfox Silver Screen.
The Sick-and-Shut-in Drive-in.
The Bengay Playhouse.
The Moving Pictures for Moving Bowels.
The Old Republican Revival House.
The Old Closeted Gay GOP Grindhouse.
The Old Liberal Hippie Peepshow.
The Medicare Multiplex.
The Metamucil Movies.
The Old-Timer Opera House.
Where they call the movies “the picture show.”

“It’s not a diminution of anyone’s success for other’s to thrive.” –Stacey Abrams

First time I heard 45 talking about a caravan on the way to the US, this was the first image that popped up in my mind.

There’s some voter suppression going on in North Dakota, a blatant attempt to minimize the Native American vote. Native Americans shouldn’t even need ID to vote. Are we serious? They were here first. If anything, we should be showing our American IDs to Native Americans for validation.

October 31, 2018 | Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment