In Absentia (Blue in Red)

I can see your shadow in the dark
Your presence is a present from on high
I memorize you because you mesmerize me
You fill the void, the space
The truth leaves your lips, dancing, dangling,
Longing to live free, it transforms into the wind
I miss your space
The air you occupy
Your matter that matters
The heat you radiate
You take my breath away

To be beautiful is to be frightened
Always questioning, never sure
Second-guessing others’ intentions and motives
Not knowing your own mettle
Arms weary from bearing heavy shields
Lay your arms down, love
I come in peace

Seeing sunlight
Tinted blue from the cornflower curtains
Gently touch your face
You roll over into the toasty rays sent from cold, dark space
I try to keep still but you open one eye
Peer at me
Your eyes smile
Then go back to sleep
And it kills me because right now is not forever

the way is it now is not the way it will be
we both know
yet we remain
in this bed
in this present
in this love
to be loved is to be frightened
the way it is now is not the way it will be
but it is the now we have
and that’s more than enough
so we lie here, staring at each other,
staring into space, looking for answers
hoping that today stays wide awake
and tomorrow falls asleep