cash only

Just saw a business with a sign that read “after-hours chiropractic.” Well, well, well…

I don’t trust grown men riding kid bikes.

Been going to Jack in the Box for years now, and I have yet been greeting by a clown springing up from behind the counter.

Cash-only businesses need to stop it. It’s 2022. Phones don’t need cords. Cars drive themselves. People send messages through the air now. And you don’t need to get paid in paper notes. Thought you were in the food business, not the drug trade.

Some people state the obvious so often it becomes confusing to you. Someone I know always states how the weather is. “It’s a clear day.” “It sure is a sunny day.” “Wow, today is really windy.” I have to double check to see if we’re living on the same plane or timeline.

The sound of a hybrid car backing up is the same sound of the heavenly gates opening up.

Tarzana, CA is named after Edgar Rice Burroughs’ incredibly racist story Tarzan. Fuck him.

I keep hearing that cyanide tastes like almonds. Who is researching this? Who takes cyanide and lives long enough to report his findings from his flavorful palate?

How many Crime of the Century cases will there be this century? The last century had at least a million.

People are going around calling the pandemic “the pandemmy.” Leave it to Americans to take something that killed millions of people worldwide and rename it a moniker that sounds like something cuddly you pet constantly and take to the groomer every other week.