HEAVEN HELP THE FOOL / lonely’stheonlycompany

Out of touch. Out of sight.
Out of mind. Out of thoughts.

Heaven help the fool that attempts to mold mountains from molehills.

Here, life on the dark side of the moon is one where One’s only companion is solitude.
Light is the most anticipated visitor and the most reliable no-show.
Celestial bodies are just that…celestial, meaning far away.
Times like these One chooses to withdraw the Self into a vacuum of time and space.
It is here where forgotten thoughts are remembered, repressed notions are resurfaced, and
ideas not yet idealized patiently wait their turn in line.
Times like these One realizes the debt that has crept up stealthily like the wind.

I owe you.

I owe you a night of stargazing and constellation counting as we peep in on Orion
tightening his Belt while comets skim the uncurdled surface of the Milky Way. I’m Sirius.
I owe you a dance on the lightest of air molecules, salsa or tango, fueled completely by the rhythms of heartbeats.
I owe you an open mouth kiss in an open area in an open mall just after it’s opened.

I owe you.
Oh, you have no inkling what One would do to be with you.
There’s a thin line between Self-love and Self-hate that I walk, trying to assure mySelf loving you is what I should be doing and hating mySelf for not doing it sooner.
So I circumvent that circle of confusion and I bisect the angle of six degrees of separation in order to get closer to you in mind, body, and spirit.
One tosses rocks in the ocean of timelessness, hoping that one of those ripples or an echo of a ripple finds and whets your skin at the beach or while you bathe.
One quietly whispers soft messages to passing dandelion seeds, floating through the atmosphere, knowing that one day you will see and understand my message in the form of a flower.

But hoping and wishing are futile exercises of expression if action does not follow in the workout.
“I hope it works out. I wish it works out.”
And words speak softer than actions and it just so happens that I usually find my surroundings…(say softly) quiet.
So someone deeply special to me introduced me to the dark side of the moon, this cold habitat of mySelf and contemplations.
This sanctuary of inactivity is fully active in the minds of many. They just don’t know it yet. But not mySelf.
I know where I stand & I know where I must journey to.

Because I owe you…

The common courtesy that you deserve to be made aware of what has occurred in my head, what emotions reside in my heart.
These inner feelings of Self will be exposed one day, someday.
There is no doubt that you have the right to know.
But I am in a place that you shall never know like mySelf.
Here in the dark lies my soul, resting, wanting to be where yours is. Living is not living at all without the connection to your own life.

And I will live.

But for now, the dark side of the moon is my home. Yet no one knows my address.
No one but my One visitor.
The journey to yourSelf does not start in the visitor’s absence.

Therefore, I must wait for the light.

April 19, 2003, 1:34 am
Miami, FL